happy half birthday - aquarium bound.

Today Natallie is one and half. Being 18 months old seemed like a great reason to bring Natallie to the Vancouver Aquarium with all her best friend (well, my best friends too).  I think my favourite part of the day was just watching that look on face....just of awe and enchantement. She kept of pointing to the fish, sharks, dolphins, belugas with the same look of awe-struck wonder. Not many real words yet, she calls everything "da!!!" although since we got her the fish, we do hear her say "fsshhhhhh". Here's some highlights of our day:

This is the "ohhhhhhh" look that I was talking about

with her bestie Alexa (who is 6 months younger but the same size)

 

I think after today, Natallie is going to think her little Betta fish is rather lame

We spent a long time in the toddler area where they things to climb and a dress up corner!
Two cute dolphins!

Natallie also found a mirror and found her reflection quite appealing

Enchanted by the jellyfish

watching the beluga show with her friends

no fears about touching the starfish

the dolphins came right up to us

What a fun day with friends! Happy one and half birthday to my beautiful, inquisitive little girl!

Swish the fish.

Natallie is going to be 18 months old at the end of this month and I figured she was responsible enough to have her own pet. We have been going to the pet store almost every week, it's only 5 mins away from our house, it's cheaper than the aquarium and Natallie loves it. We have the same routine every time we go, we start at the aquarium and she squeals over all the fish. Then we move on to the hamsters, guinea pigs and mice. Then we look at all the birds and then the cats. The grande finale is going to the back of the store where they have big glass windows so you can see into the doggy grooming. Natallie can stand there forever watching the puppies get bathed and hair cut. It's free entertainment for a whole 30 minutes!

Today, we bought a Betta fish. I used to have one before so we already had the tank so we just had to add the fish. We named him Swish. Natallie says "fshhh" when she sees him. Simon (aka Mr. I-hate-animals-in-the-house) is OK with the fish. Small steps, maybe next time, we get the hamster and then the guinea pig and hopefully one day, we'll have a Nova Scotia Retriever. But for now, we have Swish and yes, it was Simon's idea to put a picture of the shark from Finding Nemo in the fish tank. Kinda sadistic but Swish doesn't seem to mind!

real parenting starts at 18 months.

Several months  ago, I was at the park with one of my friends who is a parent of a toddler and I was telling her how I was really enjoying this stage of parenthood. I could predict when Natallie would be tired, cranky, hungry or needed to be changed. We had passed the horrible sleepless nights of teething and she has beautiful toothy grin now. She is walking by herself now so I don’t need to hold one hand and be constantly stooped over assisting her to walk everywhere.  Yes,  my 16 month old was pretty fun and being her mom was pretty awesome. She smiled and said, “just wait until she gets to be 18 months, then that’s when the real parenting begins!” I didn’t really know what that meant but I think I am getting some good glimpses of what the toddler years to come. Natallie will be 18 months old the end of January and up until this point, being a good parent consisted solely of nurturing and protecting.  But now I see that being a good parent also requires this thing called discipline.

Meal time is going to be our first obstacle of figuring how to get Natallie to stop throwing her spoon, her fork, her bottle , her plate and all her food on our poor kitchen floor. We have tried ignoring it and then making her pick it up and clean the mess she made. Ironically, Natallie really enjoys cleaning up a big mess and is giddy with glee when I make her mop up all the spilled milk. In fact, she will purposely turn her bottle upside down to spill the milk and then ask for a towel so she can mop it up. So clearly, cleaning up the mess isn’t going to be a very effective punishment.  Simon thinks that once she throws the food or the utensil, we should just not give it back to her and if she throws her meal before she’s eaten enough she should just go to bed hungrier than usual. I’m not sure if cognitively at almost 18 months old if Natallie will know that she didn’t get all her supper because she threw it. 

happy because she is making a colossal mess

sad because she threw everything off the table and didn't get it back

 

It’s funny because I thought discipline would come so easily to me since I am a behavior analyst. Whenever I see kids engaging in problem behavior at work, I do a functional assessment and determine the cause of the behavior. There are generally four categories or what we call “functions” of behavior: Attention, Escape, Tangible (i.e., to get something they want) or Sensory (e.g., because it feels good). And it is important to correctly “diagnose” the function of behavior before coming up with a solution or the behavior plan won’t work.  For example, if the child is engaging in problem behavior because they want to get attention, the correct response would be to ignore the behavior and teach alternative and more acceptable ways of getting your attention. If you yell, "no! don't do that!" and put up a big fuss when the function of behavior is attention, the problem will just increase because the child is getting lots of attention (e.g., exactly what they wanted).

But I don’t want to be a behavior analyst with Natallie, I just want to be her mom. I don't want to get my data sheets and start tracking her behaviors and my reactions to see if I can figure out the function of her throwing. I just want to parent with common sense  and from the heart. It's so much harder to stick to consequences when its my baby girl and not just a "client".  I can forsee the next year(s) of tantrums, time-outs and tears won't be much fun. I hate seeing Natallie break out in big gasping sobs.  I guess real parenting does start now….wish me luck.

It starts with just a cardboard box...

I think appliance stores should advertise that with every washer, dryer, freezer, fridge that you can a free play house. Maybe that will help pick up sales. Maybe that will get little kids to start begging their parents, “can we please please please get a new fridge?!!”

Well we got a new washer and dryer and we had a lot of fun transforming it into a playhouse for Natallie. It was a really fun family project for the evening. Simon cut out a door with a little handle. We cut out a window.  Natallie loved it right away, she got inside and wouldn't come out. She cried when I dragged her out of the house to eat supper.

the basic house: just cut out window and door

 Then after supper we got more creative and all the home reno shows we've been watching kicked in and we added pink curtains! Natallie loves to open the curtains and play peekaboo. Simon even made a little window sill where Natallie can put her little teacups on. Simon even attached the light from a headlamp so there is a little lamp in her house!

We put her little chair inside and I decorated it with lots of plastic flowers (that Natallie loves to pull out and then say, “ohhhh!” as if it was any mystery which little munchkin plucked out the flowers!

Natallie likes to take us by the hand and lead us into her little house

Maybe after she’s done with the house we can transform it to something else! Any ideas for what wonderful adventures this cardboard box could be next?