A very bad dream

Thank you everyone for your prayers and offers to help. I still think its a very bad dream but no, it's real, Noah is sick, very sick. When we had brought him to the ER at Royal Columbian on Sunday, he was discharged in 4.5 hours with a diagnosis of bronchiolitis and we were just told to use the Ventolin chamber to help him breathe. I thought we had already hit rock bottom.

Then came Monday where I took him to my regular family doctor, she listened to his lungs and said they sounded good but he stopped nursing altogether. We tried feeding him Tylonel to ease the pain, milk in a syringe but everything that went in came back out in a few minutes.

Yesterday (Tuesday), he still wasn't making an improvement. He had not had any milk in over 24 hours and was getting weaker and more lethargic. I took him to Children's Hospital Emergency this time. It was a by God's grace that I took him when I did because things went from bad to worse within a few hours of him being admitted. He spiked a super high fever and his breathing was very laboured. He lay lifeless on the table.

so scary and not moving in the ER

Everything was fast-paced and blurry, nurses and doctors came in out. Noah was such a brave trooper, he had the oxygen mask, and IV of saline solution and another IV of antibiotics. For the next several hours, he was getting poked and examined by everyone who came in and out. He had to have another chest X-ray to see what was going on in his lungs. We heard words like "sepsis" which I googled and was horrified to read about it because its is a terrible thing and babies can die from it. They were also very concerned about his dehydration because initially he wasn't putting up a fight to nurses and doctors poking needles in him. However after the IV was put in, he was more lively and screamed and bawled at every procedures. Not that I want to hear him cry but the nurses said it is a very good sign to have him fight back instead of lie there and do nothing.

oxygen masks, IV and antibiotics

 

EEG tests

 After all the tests, the doctors came back and told us he has pneumonia in both lungs. And we need to wait for additional bloodwork to come back to determine whether or not the infection in his lungs and spread to his blood as well.

 

hooked up to the IV for the night

We are now transferred from the ER room to the recovery room. It was a tough night, more coughing, vomiting and crying. I don't blame him, he has been through hell. He looks at me with these eyes that just plead, "make it stop! what is happening to me?"

Another doctor came in and told us that they are still waiting for the blood work to come in.  He is still on his IV and an oxygen and heart rate monitor. Whenever he gets upset, his heart rate sky rockets. For awhile last night at 2am and 5am, the only thing that would settle him is if I held him upright and swayed back and forth. I did it until my arms couldn't hold him anymore. They said we would be here for at least another 48 hours, he needs to not have a fever for at least 2 days and start nursing again and having wet diapers. He is still refusing to nurse but at least he has the IV to keep him hydrated.

dressed in the smallest hospital gown I've ever seen and clutching Sophie the giraffe

A nurse just came in and listened to his chest and breathing. She says his chest sounds horrible and there is still a lot of fluid and mucus in there. His cough sounds horrendous, so abrasive and painful.

Another nurse just came in and said he tested positive for RSV (Respiratory syncytial virus) and apparently that is a sort of good thing or else they would have to do more tests to confirm what is wrong. So he's got pneumonia and RSV and I am hoping nothing else. Our little man has a lot to battle.

Keep praying for him, he's still got a ways to go in terms of recovery. As much as I hate this, we are glad he is in good hands and the best hospital in the province. We are so glad to have such great medical care here.

And many of you asked how I am doing. I am exhausted. I am weary, I haven't slept for a few days. I am anxious, I am worried, I am glad he's at the hospital and I don't have to worry about getting tiny sips of milk into him. I hate hearing him cry, its a sad I'm-in-pain kind of cry and I hate not being able to do anything other than hold him. This sucks a lot. Sometimes holding him doesn't help, he just arches his back and looks like he is in so much pain. I want to cry. I want to take it away from him. I wish it were me and not my baby. And I miss my little girl. I am glad she is with my mom right now but I miss hugs from my little girl. I would love to be reading Natallie a story on my lap right now.

But Simon is with me, he was able to hold my hand through all the procedures yesterday. I was on my own at night because there is only one bed here but he came back in the morning and was able to get the day off work so we can take turns holding him.

 

As much as it is no fun being at the hospital, the nurses are doing all they can to make it better for our little guy. A nurse just came by with a little mobile for Noah. He started touching and playing with it. It's just a small gesture but it means so much to see how child-friendly it is here.

 

 Thank you for all your prayers and texts of encouragement, I may not be able to respond to all of them, I'll keep posting updates here as we know them. We are putting our trust in a great God who heals and we have faith in the One who knit him in my womb and loves him more than we could ever know.