The day I quit my job.

Let's just be honest. It's hard to do it all but that doesn't keep us all from trying. One of the 'conditions' I had set before having kids was to finish my Masters degree and pass my Board Certification exam. Other than getting shingles the week of my thesis defense, everything did work according to plan and I was pregnant with my sweet girl the same month I found out I had passed the BCBA exam.

If only trying to be Supermom while working was as easy as I had imagined it would be. I have always loved my job, I get bored really easily so I love that as a behavior consultant, I am never in one place for longer than two hours and I see so many different kids across the week. I get to mentor junior consultants and coach parents and design interventions for kids that need to learn everything from vocalizing sounds, matching, playing nicely, toileting training or sleeping through the night. I am in family's home, preschools and community outings. I love being constantly on the go.

                                 

I am self-employed so I never had the benefit of maternity leave. Before I had my babies, I imagined myself leading a meeting while my sweet baby would sleep in a bassinet. Ha. Or how I would be able to time my meetings with nap time so they wouldn't even know I was gone. Ha. Instead, I remember showing up to a IEP meeting when my baby girl was only 6 weeks old and I had less than 2 hours of sleep the night before and I was mostly thinking about if my boobs were leaking milk than my client's goals for the school year.

Taking on less clients and having my mom, husband and friends help with watching the kids has been the only way I have been able to maintain this logistical nightmare of managing the kid's drop-offs and pickup's with my own work schedule. And Hallelujah that finally both kids sleep through the night so I can stay up late returning work emails and usually still get enough sleep to be semi-functional in the morning.

But I am feeling the pressure. The pressure to be there for every single drop off and pick up. I love how their face lights up when they see me. I want to take them to soccer practice and piano lessons and gymnastics class. I want to take them to the playground after school or go to the library and read together. And it's not like I don't do those things now but I don't want to miss any of it. But with my work schedule, I can't be there for every pick up from school. I hate missing family dinners and tucking the kids into bed because of work. Its like yesterday my baby boy was just learning to walk and now he's finished his first year of preschool. Just stop growing up so fast.

But I also love my job. I have worked so hard to get my degree. So much stress and tears went into that framed piece of paper on the wall. And I love the little kids that I work with. I love being a part of their story...that I played a little part in them saying their first words, eating a new food, making a new friend.

So in the same year we decided to register Natallie at a private Christian school, I emailed the principal and just attached my resume. There was no job posting that I was responding to, I was just networking to see if I could have a career within school hours. The principal told me that it was God's timing that I emailed her then because the Special Education Coordinator had just informed her that in a year or two she wanted to retire.

So long story short, after conversing with the principal in the past year and half,  its official. I have quit my job as a behavioral consultant! I will be joining staff at Vancouver Christian School! I will be overseeing the Special Education department, doing assessments, writing IEPs, working with teachers and education assistants and making sure all the kids who need extra help are well supported.

I have been consulting for a decade now so it's bittersweet as I am leaving behind colleagues who have become good friends but excited for this new opportunity to be working during the hours that my kids will be in school. I will be able to do after school activities with them, have family adventures on the weekends and have the summer off with them.

I am just envisioning me driving to school with my kids, we will all hold hands as we walk from the parking lot, I will kiss them both and they will traipse off into their classrooms. I will occasionally spy on them during the day, watch them play during recess, make sure they eat their vegetables in their lunch and at the end of the day, we will all go home together and share about our days at school. Well, maybe not exactly like that, but that's the dream and this mom is so ready for it.