Simon and I recently went for a weekend trip to Seattle with
two other couples with kids. In total there were 6 adults, 5 kids, 2 babies all
in one house for 3 days. If you ask me how the trip was, I will smile and say, “it
was good and we’d do it again for sure” but the experience has also inspired me
to make a list of why travelling with young children suck. There were definite times
when Simon and I looked at each other and said “I thought vacations were
supposed to be fun?” We even started sarcastically saying, “Are we having FUN
yet??” throughout the trip when something was not going as planned. So here goes my 10 reasons why traveling with
young children (especially your own) suck.
1.
Packing for a baby and a toddler is ridiculous.
For someone so miniscule in size, they require luggage bags packed that weigh 5
times their own weight. Just between the case of diapers and the number of outfits
Baby will spit up on before you leave the house, there will only be enough room
for your purse, maybe a toothbrush.
2.
You will never leave the house when you intend
to. Toddler will refuse to pee before getting in the car and then after she
finally does go, it will take half an hour before you negotiate on a pair of shoes she wants to wear and that she
can actually walk in. “No you can’t wear
mom’s shoes” “No they don’t fit really good” “No, not your rain boots, it’s
June” “OK fine, just wear your rain boots and get in the car”
3.
There is a strange phenomenon that occurs once
your child is strapped in the car seat, it requires about 30 seconds after you
leave your house. Toddler will all of a sudden declare she is SO.SO.HUNGRY and
it doesn’t matter that you had to beg her to finish her breakfast a minute ago,
she is now beyond famished. Your husband and you will listen to a whiny chorus
of “I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed a snack!!!!” before you even reach the first traffic
light after leaving your house.
4.
Another strange phenomenon that occurs on road
trips is the way babies have an eerie superpower to detect when you are stuck
in traffic or stand-still border waits. As soon as the car stops, even with the
engine running and the obligatory white noises sounds of the ocean on, he will
detect the situation and wake up from a blissful sleep and make loud, vocal
declarations that he must get out of his car seat NOW. The only way to stop the
screaming terror for long enough to hear the border guard’s questions is to
throw copious amounts of baby MumMum crackers at screaming infant. If you run
out of MumMum crackers, experiment with Dorito chips but be warned, Baby may
choke on Dorito chips and puke all over car seat. Yes, we know this from
experience.
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| don't let that cute little face fool you, he's just smiling now b/c he's driving |
5.
Cross border shopping with Toddler and Baby is about
as easy as getting into your pre-pregnancy pants the day after you give birth.
The painful realization that it is not going to happen any time soon. Your only
consolation is the package of cheese you got from Target for really, really,
cheap! You agonize over not being able to browse the racks at Ross and eat
cheap American cheese.
6.
Unrelated to traveling with children but the
streets in Seattle are seriously messed up. None of them go straight or connect
where you think they should. The GPS thinks our truck can make left turns into
oncoming traffic and most of the time you can’t even hear what GPS-Lady was
saying because of Crying Infant who again, detected the stop and go Seattle traffic
and needed to be released from car seat hell NOW.
7.
Going out to a nice restaurant by the water
requires expensive parking. This is easier said than done when none of the
machines accept Canadian credit cards. Briefly consider using our adorable
children to panhandle for change until we remember that we got cash back at
Target. (Wife briefly gloats about how amazing she is for getting cash back)
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| happy after figuring how to pay for parking spot and finally getting some supper |
8.
It may be easier to convince Toddler to eat kale
than getting Baby to sleep in a play pen set up in a walk-in closet of the
rental house. Regular bedtime is 7:30pm, Baby finally gave up standing up and
screaming at 9:10pm. Administration of Tylonel at 8:45pm and desperate prayers required.
Naps not any easier. After 60 minutes of
wailing, waved white flag of surrender and walked baby in stroller for nap
instead.
9.
Stressful scenarios like screaming non-napping
babies, demanding toddlers that do not have their listening ears on, traffic
jams and streets that don’t go straight have a toll on loving communication
between couples. Wife may have used a voice at a louder than necessary decibel
in one or more of the above stressful situations. However, to wife’s credit,
she did apologize after Baby stopped screaming and finally gave in to the sleep
fairy. Husband and Wife back on same team to tackle next whining or crying
challenge.
10.
Vacations are supposed to be fun and relaxing.
Unless you bring your children. Then
they are not.
OK so why do we, as parents, do
this???
Because when there are moments of wonderful awe-filled
goodness when Toddler reads books quiety in the car. When Toddler is playing so nicely with her friends at the rental
house. When the girls without prompting, are having a tea party with their
Polly Pocket dolls or twirling mightily to “Let it go!!!!”. When they squeal
with delight at the sight of a giraffe or monkey at the zoo. When B
aby gets
right up to the glass of a jaguar pacing back and forth. When the kids are
frolicking at the park and picking wild flowers and insist of getting a bouquet
of weeds for mom. The spontaneous laughs, giggles and smiles and memories they
will have.
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| Simon and Natallie pretending to be penguins, of course. |
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| all 5 kids happy at the same time. miracle, i know. | | |
|
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| frolicking at Gas Works park |
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| crazy monkey |
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| more crazy monkeys |
Was it an insane nut-show ? Yes, yes it was.
Would we do it again?
Don’t ask me right now, it’s still too soon.
By next week, I’ll probably say yes.
